Polygamy in Contemporary Yorùbá Society of Southwestern Nigeria: The Yorùbá Writers’ View
Omolayo Ogunlola
Department of Linguistics and Nigerian Language , University of Ilorin , Ilorin, Kwara, Nigeria
It is on record that Polygamy had been part of the Yorùbá tradition since the inception of the race. In the past, marrying more than one wife was a factor used for determining the wealth and prosperity of a man. This is because most men were dominant peasant farmers, hence, the need to have more women and children to assist in farming activities. It is interesting that despite this situation, they lived together in harmony. In most cases, unless one is told, it was difficult to distinguish between children of one wife from the other. Today however, Polygamy has translated into something else. This paper examines the views of selected Yorùbá literary writers on the issue of Polygamy as practiced in contemporary Yorùbá society. The objectives of the paper include: to determine the cause(s) of the change, the effect of the changes on the immediate, extended families and the society as a whole. Two Yorùbá written play texts are ex-rayed. They are: Láwuyì Ògúnníran’s Ààre-Àgò Aríkúyerí (2010) and O̩mo̩táyò̩ and Ògúnníran’s Abínúe̩ni (1993). Our findings reveal that: colonialism and its attendant civilization caused a drift in the life of the people, that total dependent on foreign cultures and ideas have caused noticeable changes in the lifestyle of the Yorùbá people. The paper concludes that although it is not a crime to borrow cultural ideas since culture itself is not stagnant, it is however necessary to be careful and ensure that such borrowing is not at the detriment of one’s culture.
Keywords: Polygamy, Contemporary Society, Yorùbá Writer
Polygamy has been part of Yorùbá tradition right from inception of the race. In the past, marrying more than one wife was a yardstick used for measuring the wealth and prosperity of a man. This is because most men were peasant farmers, hence, the need to have more women and children to assist in farming activities. It is interesting that despite this situation, they lived together in harmony. In most cases, unless one is told, it was difficult to distinguish between children of each wife. Today however, Polygamy has translated into something else.
This paper examines the views of selected literary writers on the issue of Polygamy as practiced in contemporary Yorùbá society. It is out to answer such questions as how was it practiced, what changes are noticed? What are the causes of the changes and what are the effects on the individuals involved, the immediate and extended families and the society at large. It is aimed at finding a lasting solution to the dangerous happenings emanating from operating a polygamous family system.
Our methodology is descriptive. Two different Yorùba play texts with the theme of polygamy are selected for examination. They are: Ògúnníran’s Ààrẹ Àgò Aríkúyẹrí and Ọmọtáyọ̀ and Ògúnníran’s Abínúẹni. The views of the selected authors are carefully and objectively examined and at the end, a conclusion is reached. It is hoped that this paper will open our eyes to the pros and cons of polygamy and this will eventually reduce the problems emanating from the subject of polygamy. Polygamy involves woman, therefore, we deem it fit to briefly analyse the Yorùbá view about woman.
Woman in Yorùbá Tradition
Efforts towards bringing about a change in the status of women in Nigeria have not been that of the government alone rather, it has been the concern of the entire Nigerian populace. Apart from the call for such change, many educated women have said it openly that they would want a very close relationship between them and their husbands, a change that will place them at the same level with their men. Changes that will give them recognition and elevate them from their present supportive role which the society or even nature place them.
Before now, the position of women in Nigeria and in fact in most countries across the globe was that of a second-class citizen. For instance, record has it that in the United States of America, the supportive role which society assigned to women was responsible for the formation of a movement group called Women Liberation Movement around 1800. Ogbuani, (1996, p.11), Adeyemi, (2001, p.155). According to these scholars, the movement alleged that the punishments meted on women were numerous. Women had no say in the affairs of the society. American constitution did not allow women participation in politics and they were restricted to certain types of work. They were regarded as second- class citizens.
In like manner, the Hindus see women as very insignificant members of their society. To them, a woman is a “slave” and therefore, she is not allowed to divorce even in the face of unbearable treatments. Although these practices might have changed. The Arabs buried their female children because they are females. Among the Fulani, according to Al-Amin Abu Manga, (1981, p.10).
A wife is portrayed more as an antagonist to the husband than a partner. Her in-born malice and innate diabolical nature enhance her fighting role
and therefore neutralizes the institutionalized authority of the husband.
In Nigeria in general, and within the contemporary Yorùbá society in particular, women are seen as subordinate to the husband. For instance, a wife should have no say in discussions centered on the husband’s family. A wife cannot inherit, as she is part of the husband’s properties to be inherited after the husband’s death. She has no right to have a ‘male friend’ after her marriage whereas the husband could marry as many wives as he pleases. However, most of these practices have been affected by civilization.
As time went on however, the situation changed. Individuals and groups of people, through education and religion saw the need to raise the status of women from that of insignificance to that of recognition. It was realized that men and women could cooperate to move the society forward.
There are several perspectives to the issue of woman in Yorùbá society. There has been a great deal of work on issues that have to do with women politics and women development. A deep knowledge of the Yorùbá views about woman can be found in their oral traditions which include folktales, Ifá literary Corpus, proverbs, myths, legends and so on. For instance, Al-Amin Abu Manga (1981, p.3) notes that folklore functions to mirror the society’s way of life in terms of its social structure and its method of regulating social behaviours.
Ogunsina (1985, p.376) refers to this in his discussion on “Co-Wife tales among the Yorùbá”. According to him, the main characters in co-wife tales are always women and that what usually happens in such tales may force them to have dealings with other creatures be it human beings, animals and so on. He also explains that the main theme of co-wife tales centers on covetousness as in the tale titled: ‘èrò tí ń ròjéje’, deceit as in ‘ìgbáko̩ orogún’, backsliding as in ‘àgbò gbewé mi je̩’, malice as in ‘àsáró elépo ré̩dé̩ré̩dé̩’ and other social vices that one may think of, all portraying co-wives negatively and in a way that one can derive one lesson or the other from the stories.
In the Ifá Corpus, there are different thoughts of the Yorùbá about womanhood. For instance, Abímbólá (1968, p.38) in Òyèkú Méjì, describes the situation in a polygamous family as thus: It reads:
Obìnrin lèké – the woman is a deceit
Obìnrin lò̩dàlè̩ – the woman is perfidious
Kéèyàn m K’éèyàn má fi’nú hàn f’Óbìnrin – one should not reveal his mind to a woman.
Women are believed to be talkatives; it is dangerous to discuss issues that are secret with them. Hence, the Yorùbá saying:
Èèyàn tí ò gbó̩n níí bóbìrin mule̩ – only the foolish confide in women
Ijó obìnrin bá mawo lawo bàjé̩. – the day a woman know a secret, such secret is spoilt.
Another one says:
E̩ má jé̩ ká finú hàn fóbìnrin – Do not give your mind to a woman
Ibi ojú rè̩ ò tó, e̩nu rè̩ débè̩ – where her eyes do not see, her mouth gets there.
Ogunsina (1982) also observes that many Yorùbá aphorisms and proverbial expressions contain luminous ideas about the characteristics and peculiarities of women. He gives this example:
Bí a pewúré̩, kí a má f’óbìnrin lorí je̩
Bí a bá pàgùntàn bò̩lò̩jò̩,
Kí a má f’óbìnrin láhó̩n je̩.
S̩ùgbó̩n bí e̩ bá padìe̩ òkòkó, kí a yo̩ ojú rè̩ f’óbìnrin.
Nítorí obìnrin kìí jorí, wo̩n kìí jahó̩n, ojú ni wó̩n ń je̩
(If a goat is killed, do not give woman the head to eat.
If a sheep is killed, let not its tongue be given to the woman.
But when a fowl is killed, pluck its eyes for a woman to eat;
for women never enjoy eating the head, nor the tongue but
only the eyes).
These go in line with the belief that the position of headship is not in the nature of women, it is exclusively reserved for men. It is believed that in a compound or family where a woman is named Ikúmólú’, meaning the death has taken the head, it is certain that their males are either dead or insignificant.
Similarly, Abimbólá in Òyèkú Méjì of the Ifá Corpus, a woman is described as a trouble maker, selfish, in the sense that no woman would willingly tolerate having a co-wife. They detest rivalry of any form. Their motto is “me and my husband”. It reads:
Ò̩kan s̩os̩o poró lobìnrin dùn mo̩ – only one woman is good
Lo̩wó̩ o̩ko̩.- for a man
Bí wó̩n bá di méjì, – when they are two in number,
Wó̩n a di òjòwú – they become jealous.
Bí wo̩n bá di mé̩ta, – when they are three in number
Wó̩n a dè̩ta-n-túlé…. -they become association of three that destroys a home…..
There are short lyrics used in portraying the jealous nature of women. This is most pronounced within polygamous set ups. The song goes thus:
Òjòwú ‘bìnrin abìpó̩nrin létí – jealous woman, iron sharpener on the ears
Bó lóun sùn lo̩, a sì máa wúkó̩ – when she claims to be in deep sleep, she coughs.
In like manner, the Yorùbá will say:
O̩ko̩ to bá rù – when the husband becomes lean
E̩ bi ìyàwó rè̩ léèrè – ask the wife why?
Or even this:
Bóbìnrin bá gbó̩n lágbó̩njù – if a woman is too wise
Péńpé las̩o̩ o̩ko̩ rè̩ é̩ mo̩ – the husband’s dress becomes undersized.
Nevertheless, Yorùbá still recognize some good things about women. For instance, Oguns̩ina observes that we can see the positive nature of women among the Yorùbá in proverbial songs and poems. He refers to one Ògbóni song, which goes thus:
E̩ wólè̩ fóbìnrin – let’s respect our women
Obìnrin ló bí wa – they are our mothers
Káa tó dòrìsà – before we become an idol.
Abimbo̩la (1968, p.59) referring to Òdí Méjì of the Ifá Corpus, writes:
Funfun niyì e̩yín – whiteness, the beauty of the teeth
Ègùngàgàrà niyì o̩rùn- Longness, the beauty of the neck
O̩mú s̩íkìs̩ìkìs̩íkí, niyì obìnrin – Robust breast the beauty of a woman.
A díá fún èjì òdí – Divine for èjì òdí
Tí ń sunkún aláìlóbìnrin- Crying for being a bachelor
Tí ń fojoojúmó̩ káwo̩ bo̩tan- Putting his hands in his laps everyday
Èrò ìpo, èrò Ò̩fà – People of Ìpo, people of Òfà
Ìgbà ìdí di méjì – when we double the buttock
Náà la do̩lómo̩ – It is then we become parents.
Ogbuani writes that a woman is a solution carrier rather than a trouble giver. She argues that if women who constitute almost half of the population of a country like Nigeria, are not being carried along, development in Nigeria cannot be fully realized because according to her:
Without women, men will labour under the sun without suitable relief in the home. The presence of women on earth adds meaning to living. Women are not the pains of life; they are the beauties of life.
This belief led to the formation of several women organizations both locally and nationally with the sole aim of changing the status of women from unrecognized to that of recognized, from that of a slave to that of a daughter, from the unfaithful to that of the faithful and so on.
The references above point to the roles of women as mothers and that without them, there won’t be anything like child bearing. As a mother, the Yorùbá believe that whatever situation one finds himself/herself, the mother will not desert him/her. Hence the saying:
Etí were ni tèkúté ilé – the mouse is always at alert
Abiyamo̩ kìí gb’é̩kún o̩mo̩ rè̩ – a mother will not hear the cry of her child
Kí ó máà tatí were – and fails to respond.
What these infer therefore, is that the Yorùbá traditional oral literatures are not just an embodiment of unimpressive and powerless verbal expressions about women; they also contain impressive and powerful verbal expressions. These may account for why Ogbuani writes that:
Women are not evil. They are vessels of favour and stability… remember, she is your partner and your co-builder in the destiny plan.
The two selected Yorùbá play texts address the negative aspects of a woman, especially as it concerns polygamy. i.e. having a rival wife and this is our next port of call.
What is Polygamy?
Gbádége̩s̩in (2017) opines that:
Marriage as a social arrangement is a nomos building instrumentality that creates for the individual, the sort of order in which his or her life makes sense. One can even argue that as part of socially constructed world, marriage is a given and predetermined by the Yorùbá social world for the individual and made available to him or her for ordering his or her everyday life.
This implies that marriage is a social as well as ritual act in which two people from different backgrounds (who may or may not be of different cultural background) come together and redefine themselves.
It is worthy of mention here that of all traditional rites of passage considered by the Yorùbá people to be important milestones, it is only marriage rite that an individual personally witnesses and actively participates in and until today, marriage still retain its meaningfulness to almost all members of the Yorùbá society.
It is the process of founding a new family. It is the beginning of a new life whereby a man and a lady from different family background, different orientation, different exposure and so on, come together to live as one family.
In Yorùbá society, it is an act of irresponsibility for a man or woman who has reached marriage age to shy away from it. This act, Gbádége̩s̩in says is against the social convention of the society no matter the situation the man or woman finds himself or herself. Therefore, what we experience today where young men run away from marriage or delay marriage because they have no job is unacceptable to the Yorùbá.
As earlier mentioned, polygamy is a form of marriage in constant practice before the advent of Christianity. Polygamy seemed to be the norm and not an exception to the rule in the Yorùbá society (among the Ò̩yó̩ dialect group, many old men were polygamists). Adéríbigbé opines that “Instances of polygamy are almost exclusively in the form of polygyny. Polygyny refers to a man being married to more than one woman at the same time”.
A majority of the Yorùbá Muslims were and still are polygamists. Few men still practice polygamous marriage in many mainline churches in Yorùbá society. Another reason why polygamous marriage was common was due to the fact that many young men often inherited the younger wives of their deceased kinsmen (known as levirate or widow inheritance).
In the Holy Bible, Augustine sees marriage as one covenant between one man and one woman which may not be broken. According to him: “It was the Creator who established monogamy; therefore the first natural bond of human society is man and his wife”.
Although the Old Testament describes numerous examples of Polygamy among devotees of God, most Christian groups have historically rejected the practice of polygamy and have upheld monogamy alone as normative and in line with biblical injunctions. Today, it is doubtful if there are Christian groups who currently do practice polygamy. Most churches today are even skeptical about divorce. For instance, Mathew 19,vs.4-5 reads:
Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.
According to the Roman Catholic Catechism,
Polygamy is not in accord with moral law (conjugal) communion is radically contradicted by polygamy; this in fact, directly negates the plan of God that was revealed from the beginning, because it is contrary to the equal personal dignity of men and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that is total and therefore unique and exclusive.
According to Dupaniloup, et al,
Anglican Communion on the other hand, upholds monogamy as God’s plan as the idea of relationship of love between husband and wife, nevertheless recommends that a polygamist who responds to the gospel and wishes to join the Anglican church may be baptized and confirmed with his believing wives and children on the condition that the polygamist shall promise not to marry again as long as any of his wives at the time of conversion are alive that the receiving of such a polygamist has the consent of the local Anglican Community and that such a polygamist shall not be compelled to put away any of his wives on account of the social deprivation they would suffer. Dupaniloup, et al (2003, p.86).
The polygamy that is allowed in Quran is for special situations. There are strict requirements to marrying more than one woman, as Quran vs. 4:3 says: “the man must treat them fairly, financially and in terms of support given to each wife, according to Islamic law. However, Islam advices monogamy for a man if he fears he cannot deal justly with his wives.
If ye fears that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans. Marry women of your choice. Two or three or four but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) the only one or one that your right hand possesses that will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice. (Quran, Sura 4. Ayah 3 (112).
From the reference above, one can say that even the Quran does not approve of polygamy in the sense that it gives a condition under which a man can chose to be polygamous and this condition is such that, by human nature, it is doubtful if any man can meet the condition. The question is whether it is humanly possible to marry more than one wife, love and treat them equally in all things. But unfortunately today, because of the love of the flesh, such condition is either ignored or misinterpreted and the result is not always interesting to witness. This implies that monogamy is by far the norm in Muslim societies as most men cannot afford to maintain more than one family and many of those who could, would rather not.
According to the Nigerian civil law, “Nigeria does not recognize Polygamy. Twelve (12) out of thirty-six (36) Nigeria States recognize Polygamous marriages as being equivalent to monogamous marriages”. They allow for a man to take more than one wife. (online source).
Pros and cons of Polygamy.
We are of the opinion that Polygamy may enable a male to desire more offspring but monogamy can, in certain circumstances represent a more successful over all reproductive strategy. By sticking with the same female, a male is able to ensure that the female’s offspring are also his and prevent this offspring from being killed by male rivals’ intent on returning the female to fertility (breast feeding being a natural contraceptive).
Because of the influence of modernity in contemporary societies, polygamy exposes individuals, families and even the entire society to:
The Writers’ view about Polygamy.
Two Yorùbá play texts are analysed. They are Ògúnníran’s Ààrẹ Àgò Aríkuyẹrí and Ọmọtáyọ̀ and Ògúnníran’s Abinúẹni both emphasizing the negative implications of Polygamy on individual families in particular and the entire society in general.
The theme in Ààre̩-Àgò Aríkúye̩rí, center on the experience in polygamous families. Behaviours such as jealousy, envy, backsliding, backbiting and the likes. All these behaviours and even more, feature prominently in a polygamous family. Ògúnrìndé Ajé (A.K.A. Ààre̩ Àgò) is a warrior, a high chief, very popular, very rich and he commands respect from his people. But despite this, the author makes us to see that he loves marrying as many wives as possible but lacks the wisdom to coordinate them. It all started on his birthday when his wives were eulogizing him in turns. Fátó̩lá outshines the other wives who were disgraced in public. Lágídò, Ògúnrìndé Ajé’s servant starts it when he tells As̩iyanbí saying:
Bàbá ní o máa ké! Máa ké, máa gbó bí ajá….. E̩è̩ m’éléyìí so! Yóó mò̩ b’aré jé̩è̩! Ta ló be̩ ará oko ní rárà sun? Ajá a máa j’obì? Pa ‘nu e̩ mó̩ ń’bè̩. (O.i.14).
Daddy says you should continue to shout, bark like a dog. You better tie her or else, she will spoil the show. Who asked this novice to perform. Do the dog eat kolanut? Stop your mouth. (Pg. 14).
As̩iyanbí and Adépèlé become un-lookers as Fátó̩lá performs. As̩iyanbí decides to avenge the disgrace on Fátó̩lá who outshines them during Ògúnrìndé Ajé’s birthday, an act believed to be typical of co-wives. Ògúnrìdé Ajé does not help the situation either, he eulogizes Fátó̩lá and this does not go down well with As̩iyanbí, the eldest wife and probably, Adépèlé. This sparks off the rivalry between the co-wives. Lágídò (Ògúnrìndé Ajé’s messenger), jestly invite the duo to join in the celebration, but As̩iyanbí declines the invitation saying:
S̩é ká má jè̩é̩ k’áàyò ó bá o̩ko̩ rè̩ jó ni? Kúrò l’ó̩dò̩ wa o̩jàre, ìwo̩ ò̩bo̩ lásán, làsàn yìí. (o.i. 19).
Should we deny the favourite the chance to dance with her husband? Go away from here, you this ordinary monkey. (p.19).
This may not be enough evidence that Fátó̩lá is the most favoured of the wives, but Ògúnrìdé Ajé shows this in the way he eulogizes Fátó̩lá. He says:
Obìnrin té̩é̩ré̩ ye̩ o̩ko̩ rè̩ ní’jó̩ ijó o̩ko̩o̩ Fátó̩lá. Iwindàmó̩lá. Òsùmàrè yè̩’run dandan-an-dan. Orí níí kúkú s̩e’ni Táàá láya tó pa’wó, o̩ko̩ Fátó̩lá. Olówó orí Àmò̩pé. Orí náà ló s̩e ó̩ pàdé mi. (Pg. 19).
A slim woman fits her husband when dancing, Fátó̩lá’s husband. Iwindàmó̩lá. The rainbow fits the skye. It is destiny that gives one a good wife, Fátó̩lá’s husband, Àmò̩pe’s husband. It is destiny that makes us meet. (Pg.19).
This is no doubt a careless talk especially in a polygamous environment. It also serves as evidence that the husbands also contribute to the troubles experienced in polygamous families. As earlier said, women are opposed to having co-wives and they could go any length to fight against it. With this saying, Ògúnrìndé Ajé has succeeded in igniting the rivalry that engulfs his household.
Although we are not specifically told, it is assumed that As̩iyanbí is responsible for the poisoning of Adépèlé’s children. Ògúnrìndé Ajé ordered his wives to fish out the perpetrator, given them a time limit. As̩iyanbi, being the eldest wife calls her co-wives to a meeting and says:
Ohun tí Bàbá so̩ fún wa ni e̩ yáa je̩ ká tètè mú sà lóògùn. Ò̩rò̩ náà gba àmójútó gan-an ni. E̩ jé̩ k’óníkálùkù ó gbò̩nà tí ó bá mò̩ lo̩….(o.i. 22).
We should quickly address what Daddy instructed us to do. The issue deserves serious attention. Let each of us look for solution. (p. 22).
Adépèlé responds by crying, but a treacherous woman like As̩iyanbi has a way of cooling her down. She says:
Pa’nu e̩kún mó̩. Orí re̩ kìí s̩orí ìyà. Mo ti rí’bi tí nǹkan ti ń s̩e ó̩. Áà e̩ni e̩ni
níí s̩e’ni! Áà! Áà! Áà….! (o.i. 23).
Stop crying. You do not choose a bad destiny. I have discovered where your problem lies. Ha! One’s close associate bedevils one. Ha! Ha! Ha! (p. 23).
And when Adépèlé asks who the enemy could be, As̩iyanbí, the eldest (most senior wife) ironically replies:
Taa ni ó ha s̩e j’àwo̩n ‘Aya Baba lo̩? Ta ló kó ‘tìjú ńlá bá wa níjelòó tí Baba ń bo̩rí? (o.i. 23)
Who could the person be other than Daddy’s wife? Who disgraced us during Daddy’s birthday celebration? (p.23).
As̩iyanbí tells lies that Fátó̩lá is behind the death of Adépèle’s children, she says:
Babaláwo mi gan-an ni mo tò̩ lo̩ láti wádìí ò̩ràn náà. Òun ló so̩ fún mi pé Ààyò Baba ló ń pa ó̩ ló̩mo̩ nípa gbígbé májèlé fún wo̩n je̩ nítorí pé kò bí o̩kùnrin. S̩ùgbó̩n Babaláwo náà so̩ fún mi pé Bàbá wa kò níí fé̩ ka ò̩rò̩ náà kún nítorí pé “Ààyò” rè̩ ni Obìnrin náà í s̩e. (o.i. 24).
I visited my herbalist to inquire about the issue. He told me Daddy’s favourite is behind the death of your children through poisoning because she has no male child. But the Herbalist told me Daddy will not take the issue seriously because the woman is her favourite. (p. 24).
Adépèlé starts crying, but As̩yanbí cautions her saying:
Àà!, O fé̩ ba nǹkan jé̩. O fẹ́ k’árá ilé pé lé wa lórí! O fé̩ k’é̩ni à ń perí gbó̩ k’á tó fe̩jó̩ rè̩ sùn? Wòó! Ò̩rò̩ o̩mo̩ yìí kò ká o̩ lára jù mí lo̩ rárá. Ohun tí Babaláwo wí yìí ni kí o jé̩ kí a tètè pète lé lórí báyìí. Èmi ni n ó gbé ò̩rò̩ náà lo̩ s’ó̩dò̩ Baba. N ó so̩ fún un pé èmi àti ìwo̩ ni a jo̩ lo̩ s’ó̩dò̩ Babaláwo náà kí ìwo̩ lè jé̩ e̩lé̩rìí fún mi. Nu omijé ojú re̩ nù, ìkúnlè̩ abiamo̩ ò níí jé̩ kóo sòfò o̩mo̩ mó̩……… (o.i. 24).
Ha!, you want to spoil the show. You want people to gather here. You want the concerned to hear before she is reported? Look, you are not as worried as I am. Let us quickly discuss what the Herbalist says. I am to discuss the issue with Daddy. I will tell him we both visited the Herbalist so that you will be my witness. Whip off your tears, I pray you will never experience such again. (p.24).
This act is believed to be one of women antics to perpetrate evil act. It is commonly practiced within a polygamous setting. Unfortunately, out of ignorance, Adépèlé believes As̩iyanbí, although, she may not have such intention. One can equally say that her sorrow mood account for why she could not think that As̩iyanbí is planning a coop against Fátó̩lá, her co-wife. Instead, she praises and prayed for As̩iyanbí. In ignorance, she thanked As̩iyanbí. She says: “Ó dára, kò burú. Tiyín náà ó dara o”. Here, one can conclude that because of her state of mind, she could not reason that As̩iyanbí is using her to punish Fátó̩lá unjustly. She agrees to As̩iyanbí’s suggestion that she will lie to their husband that the two of them visited the Herbalist. She eventually tells Ògúnrìndé Ajé that the Herbalist confirms that Fátó̩lá poisoned the twins because she had no male child and that Adépèlé is her witness.
Displaying his insensitivity, Ògúnrìndé Ajé becomes furious, and without hesitating, he kills Fátó̩lá with his arrow despite all attempts by Fátó̩lá to proof her innocence. This is to show women can go to any length to get rid of their ‘rivals’. This is prominent among co-wives. Probably, this is one of the reasons why most religions are against polygamy. It also depicts that the husband has a vital role to play in making polygamy work. It requires patience and sense of reasoning.
Yorùbá say: “bí iró̩ bá lo̩ lógún o̩dún, o̩jó̩ kan s̩os̩o ni òtító̩ yóó bá a, meaning no matter how long the lie has travelled, the truth will catch up with it just in one day”. At the end of it all, the secret behind Fátó̩lá’s death is unveiled but the deed had been done. Fátó̩lá has been unjustly killed. She pays the price for an offence she does not commit.
The truth is unveiled at Bas̩ò̩run Ògúnmó̩lá’s chamber. During the interrogation, As̩iyanbí confesses that all her claims are false and far from the truth. She confesses that all her claims are borne out of jealousy and insensitivity of Ògúnrìndé Ajé their husband. Ògúnrìndé Ajé on his part blames himself for his impatience. Yorùbá say: “O̩gbó̩n tí a fi ń kó̩’lé kò tó èyí tí a fi ń gbé inú rè̩”, meaning that one requires a lot of wisdom to maintain a family especially, a polygamous family.
Unlike the present day, Bas̩ò̩run’s judgment does not pervert justice, even the chiefs are punished for attempting to pervert justice because they received bribe from Ògúnrìdé Ajé. The bribe is taken from them and in addition, they are fined a huge sum of money. The other offenders are equally punished accordingly. Some are sold into slavery while Ògúnrìndé Ajé is ordered to take own life and let people give the report to Bas̩ò̩̩run. Unfortunately, the brave man who can kill his wife runs away and defiles Bas̩ò̩run’s order. Nevertheless, the effects of polygamy manifest, the family has been ruined.
The case in Abínúe̩ni is not different. The effects of running a polygamous family are highly felt. Like Ògúnrìdé Ajé, Akíntáyo̩ is an expert in marrying as many as four wives but he lacks the wisdom to deal with the situation.
The authors give us the reason why Akíntáyò̩, the main character choose to be polygamous. From the onset, we here him defending his decision to take another wife. His reason being the fact that he wants a male child who will be the heir (àróle). Conversing with O̩láwùmí, his senior wife, Akíntáyò̩ says:
O̩mo̩ l’obìnrin. S̩ùgbó̩n b’ó ti wù k’ó̩mo̩bìnrin pé̩ ní’lé bàbá rè̩ to, yóó lo̩ sí’lé
o̩ko̩ tirè̩ ni. S̩ùgbó̩n o̩kùnrin ni àrólé, òun náà ni yóó máa jé̩ orúko̩ bàbá rè̩ títí. (o.i.2).
A girl is also a child. But no matter how long a girl stays in her fathers’s house, she is going to end up in her husband’s house. But a boy is the heir eho will continue to bear the father’s name for ever. (p.2).
When O̩láwùmi is proving stubborn, Akítáyò̩’s junior sister, Bó̩látito rebukes her saying:
Kí ló tilè̩ ń gbóná orí e̩ gan an? Só̩ko̩ re̩ fún o̩ lórùka alárédè ni? Bàbá wa
kìí s’olóbìnrin kan s̩os̩o. O̩mo̩ alás̩o̩ kan ni ó̩. Abájo̩ tí o fi ń rabamù gbogbo nǹkan o̩ko̩ re̩. Kò j’ó̩ko̩ ó s̩e nǹkan f’é̩bí. (o.i.3).
What is making you crazy in the head? Did your husband give you a white wedding ring? Our father is not for only one woman. You are a wretched person. No wonder why you are dominating all your husband’s properties. You do not allow your husband to help his family. (p.3).
To Akíntáyò̩, marrying another wife because he wants a male child is like embarking on a laudable project. He therefore strongly warns his wives not to jeopardize his ‘good gesture’.
As if that is not enough, Akíntáyò̩ proposes to marry O̩ló̩ládé, Abidákun’s fiancé. This marks the beginning of jealousy. Adéo̩lá is opposed to the move, she implores O̩láwùmí to lead the protest against their husband but O̩láwùmí declined saying:
Èmi kó̩. È̩fó̩ ni mo jé̩. È̩fó̩ ni gbogbo obìnrin tó bá fé̩ tè̩lé mi. È̩fó̩ kìí lé è̩fó̩ láwo. (o.i. 11).
I disagree. I am like a vegetable. All women who intend to follow me are vegetable. A vegetable does not send another vegetable out of the plate.(p. 11).
Akíntáyò̩ uses his wealth and position to oppress Abídákun. Abídákun is seriously brutalized for protesting against Akítáyo̩ who decides to marry his fiancé. Akíntáyo̩, like Ògúnrìndé Ajé in Ààre̩ Àgò Aríkúye̩rí, ignorantly ignites the beginning of jealousy which as earlier mentioned, is a common phenomenon in most if not all polygamous families. When the news comes to him that Adéo̩lá (his new bride) is delivered of a baby, he says:
O̩mo̩ ti so̩ ara rè̩ lórúko̩. Adés̩ínà Orís̩é̩gun ni yóó máa jé̩ nítorí pé òun ni àrè̩mo̩kùnrin mi, o̩jó̩ tí mo sì s̩é̩gun Abídákun ni mo bí i. (o.i. 28).
The child has named itself. He shall be called Adés̩ínà Orís̩é̩gun because he is my heir and he is born on the very day I conquered Abídákun. (p. 28).
Statements like this are dangerous to utter within a polygamous set up. It is dangerous because it breads envy, jealousy, hatred and the likes. It is therefore not surprisin,g that this is what Adéjís̩ó̩lá, the fourth wife who happens to be O̩láwùmí’s sister, capitalizes on when she reports Akíntáyò̩ to her guild of witches with the support of Ìyá Lójú O̩jà who had earlier enrolled her into the guid of witches.
Further still, the news that Ò̩kánlàwó̩n, the controversial child excels in his studies further aggravated the jealous in Adéjísó̩lá. Akíntáyò̩ is severally warned to keep the good news to himself, but he would not listen. Yorùbá says: “gbogbo aláǹgbá ló da’kùn dé’lè̩, a kò mo̩ èyí tí inú ń run” literally meaning “not all that blister is gold. It is not every person who appears to be friend is a friend” Akíntáyò̩ defies the warnings, he tells O̩láwùmí:
O̩mo̩ re̩, Ò̩kánlàwó̩n ló gba ipò kìn-ín-ní ní kíláàsì wo̩n. Bé̩è̩ náà làwo̩n è̩gbó̩n re̩ obìnrin yo̩rí gedegbe ní kíláàsì e̩nìkò̩ò̩kan wo̩n. S̩ùgbó̩n àwo̩n o̩mo̩ ìyàwó méjèèjì kò s̩e dáradára tó. Èyí Adés̩ínà gan-an ló r’ó̩wó̩ mú díè̩ s̩ùgbó̩n ó ń to̩ Ò̩kánlàwó̩n lé̩yìn ni…….Bó o bá mò̩ bí ò̩rò̩ Ò̩kánlàwó̩n ti jé̩ ni, ojoojúmó̩ lò ó máa bo̩ mí bí òrìs̩à. Wó̩n ti so̩ fún mi té̩lè̩ pé, o̩kùnrin kan tó wà nínú o̩mo̩ re̩ náà, àrólé ni, olú o̩mo̩ ni. (o.i. 32).
Your son, Ò̩kánlàwó̩n took the first position in his class. It is the same with his senior sisters in their respective classes. But the children of the other two wives do not perform to expectation. Adés̩ínà tried but not as good as Ò̩kánlàwó̩n. If you understand how I feel about Ò̩kálàwó̩n, you will offer sacrifice to me every day like the gods. I have been told earlier that, your only male child would be the heir. He is a major. (p.32)
This claim is confirmed by O̩láwùmí through a passer-bye who meets her on the way and gives her the same message but with the warning that they should not make the revelation public to avoid bad happening because the mind of man is full of evil but Akíntáyò̩ will not listen.
Adéo̩lá further makes the situation worse when she has a little misunderstanding with Akíntáyò̩ and she starts boasting that she bears the heir and so, she deserves more respect from Akíntáyò̩ than he is giving. She says:
Èmi ni mo bí àrè̩mo̩kùnrin fún un. Kàkà kí ó máa ké̩ mi lójú ké̩ mi ní’mú, ìyà ló fi ń je̩ mí. (o.i. 39).
I gave birth to the heir for him. Instead for him to pamper me always, he punishes me. (p.39).
This marks the beginning of the trouble that later evolves. Akintáyò̩ marries Adéjísó̩lá as against the Yorùbá tradition which forbids marrying two girls from the same family. Oníkè̩é̩pò̩, O̩láwùmí’s daughter confronts and warns Adéjísó̩lá against this but Adejís̩ó̩lá makes her to understand that she is doing it to save her life. This implies that Akíntáyò̩ threatens Adejís̩ó̩lá and forces her to consent to his demand. Adéjísó̩lá says:
Kò wu èmi náà bé̩è̩. S̩ùgbó̩n kí obìnrin fé̩ o̩ko̩ kò tó̩ kí ó wà láyè sàn jù kí ó wà láyé bíi wèrè lo̩. (o.i. 55).
It is against my wish. But it is better for a woman to marry a forbidding husband and live than to be alive like a mad (insane) person. (p. 55).
Despite the warnings from Akínkúnmi, Akíntáyò̩ proceeds in his plan and marries Adéjís̩ó̩lá but his action later boomerangs as Adéjísó̩lá turns to be the most dreadful enemy of Ò̩kánlàwó̩n showing the real picture of a co-wife as we shall see later in this paper.
The prediction that Akíntáyò̩’s wives would leave him come true. O̩ló̩ladé leaves and marries Abídákun, her former fiancé. Adéo̩lá also leaves. Ò̩kánlàwó̩n on the other hand, heeds the warnings given to him. He is very cautious of what to eat, what to say, where to sit and so on. All predictions about him later come true. Akíntáyò̩ on the other hand continues to bluff the several warnings given him especially about the person of Ò̩kánlàwó̩n. He boasts of spiritual power and believes nobody can dare him, no, not on this earth. The more he is warned, the more he displays acts of stupidity even with Adéjís̩ó̩lá the dreadful enemy of the family. Akíntáyò̩ discloses everything about Ò̩kánlàwo̩n to Adéjísó̩lá especially on the pronouncement of Ò̩kánlàwó̩n as the heir to Akíntáyò̩. This no doubt makes Adéjísó̩lá to be more jealous and she eventually displays this act. It makes it easy for Ìyá Ojú O̩jà to introduce her to the guild of witches. Hence, she begins to think evil
As earlier mentioned, selfishness, jealousy can also result into killing or murder. In Abínúe̩ni, the authors expose those vices believed to be common in polygamous families. Adéjísó̩lá proceeds to report her husband to her guild of witches. She exclaims:
O̩ko̩ wá ti yan àrólé…… E̩ máa gbó̩ o, ìyá rè̩ ni ìyálé pátápátá. Èmi ni ìyàwó kékeré pátápátá. Ìyá rè̩ lò̩gá is̩é̩, èmi lo̩mo̩ is̩é̩, ó di méjì. Ìyá rè̩ ló bí o̩mo̩bìnrin tó kó̩kó̩ ké̩kò̩ó̩ jade ní Yunifásítì. Gbogbo àwo̩n o̩mo̩bìnrin tí ìyá rè̩ bí ló yàn tó yanjú. Ń se làwo̩n o̩kùnrin máa ń dù wó̩n wàràwàrà bí àkàrà gbígbóná. E̩ máa gbó̩ o, Ìyá rè̩ ló ri s̩e jùlo̩ nínú gbogbo ìyàwó tó̩ko̩ wa fé̩….. O̩mo̩ e̩ni a wí yìí lo̩ko̩ wá fi s̩e àrólé….O̩ló̩run kìí s̩e o̩ba nìkans̩os̩o. Kò jé̩ tò ó bé̩è̩ rárá. Àfi kí a tún un tò ló lè té̩ mi ló̩rùn. (o.i. 74).
(Our husband has chosen his heir… Listen to this. His mother is the most senior wife. I am the most junior wife. His mother is the master, I am the servant. His mother is also the mother of the first female graduate. All his mother’s daughters are successful. Boys do run after them like the hot cake. Listen! his mother is the most prosperous of all our husband’s wives… this woman’s child is choosen as the heir by our husband. God is not for only one person. He will never arrange it so. Except we re-arrange it, I cannot be satisfied). (p. 74).
The universal unconscious in Adéjísó̩lá wouldn’t have allowed her to bewitch Ò̩kánlàwó̩n but the fact that she is jealous, she carries out her threat to deal with Ò̩kánlàwó̩n.
Adéjísó̩lá requests that Ò̩kánlàwó̩n should be killed so as to have her own son as the sole heir. She is a lion archetype. The lion is the king of the forest and leaders of all animals. The lion hates any surrogate and always make sure that no one compete with it or else, that animal would die. The impulse to kill is always in the lion whenever it is hungry. Adéjísó̩lá has the impulse to kill anybody that stands on her way or her son’s way.
Adéjísó̩lá’s action is an archetype of the senior wife in the Yorùbá folk story titled “ìgbáko̩ orogún mi” meaning “my co-wife’s calabash”. In the story, the senior co-wife for jealous reasons went to the stream to wash her utensils. When the stream refused to carry away her calabash, as it was the case of the junior wife, she threw the calabash into the water herself and followed it. Contrary to expectation, her co-wife’s fortune turned misfortune for her. Instead of becoming rich, she was bitten to death by snakes.
Adéjísó̩lá fails in her bid to kill Ò̩kánlàwó̩n. Although, Ò̩kánlàwó̩n is involved in a ghastly motor accident, he is presumed dead and his obituary already announced. But the cat is let out of the bag when Ò̩kánlàwó̩n suddenly appears after ten years, Adéjísó̩lá’s antics are exposed and she is utterly disgraced, and in the words of Akínkúnmi, all Adéjísó̩lá’s children also turn to be ‘good-for-nothing children”. Akínkúnmi says:
Gbogbo o̩mo̩ tó bí kò níláárí. O̩mo̩ pò̩ bí o̩sàn bó̩ ni wó̩n. O̩mo̩ lásán èkejì ajá. Àánú s̩e wá pé è̩gbó̩n wa fowó sòfò ni.O̩láté̩jú tóo bèèrè, isé akólè̩ ló ń s̩e lábé̩ Ìjo̩ba…. Àwo̩n o̩mo̩bìnrin rè̩ yòókù kò mò̩wé rárá. Èyí tó ń lo̩ s̩is̩é̩ as̩é̩wó lóté̩è̩lì wà. Òmíràn yaro̩ tí kò le rìn. (o.i.103).
(All her children are unsuccessful. They are good-for-nothing children. We pity our brother for wasting his money. Olátéjú now works as refuse parker with the government. Her other female children are dull. There is one who takes to prostitution in the hotel. There is another one who is crippled). (p.103)
With this, the authors make us understand that as dangerous as polygamous family is, the perpetrators of evil sparingly go scot free.
In this paper, we have tried to examine the usual dangerous situations in polygamous homes. Our findings reveal that a number of factors have affected the laudable ideas behind polygamous living. The meaning people now give polygamy is at par with what it used to be. Today, polygamy means hatred, envy, jealousy, back biting, murder, backsliding and the likes as presented by the selected authors..
It is discovered that it will amount to total injustice to put the blame on the woman alone. Most if not all men do not possess the wisdom to cope with more than one wife, hence they unnecessarily commit themselves by their utterances as shown in both texts. This further aggravates the hatred and jealousy in co-wives.
We also discover that if not totally impracticable, it is very difficult for a man to treat his many wives equally, hence, the selected authors are of the opinion that marrying one wife is more pleasurable than marrying many wives. Probably, this accounts for why most religions advocate the practice of monogamy. This is not to say that monogamy does not breed jealousy, but it is in a different dimension and it is not as pronounced as it is in polygamy.
Many people (father, mother, and children) have lost their lives to rivalry as a result of polygamy. In a polygamous family, the wives and even their children will be suspecting each other. No iota of trust exists within the family.
The paper recommends as follow:
Experience has shown that in contemporary society, the interpretation given to polygamy is different from what it used to be in the past. In the past, co-wives do not see themselves as rivals but rather as partners in progress. The paper therefore concludes that polygamous living is a bane to the sustenance of the family and the development of the society as a whole; therefore its practice should be discouraged.